How does infidelity affect a relationship?

Studies estimate that at least 25% of marriages experience some form of infidelity. This can include emotional infidelity, physical infidelity, or a combination of the two. Infidelity is correlated with a number of relationship problems, including increased conflict, family disruption, and divorce. In fact, more than 40% of divorcees report engaging in at least one extramarital relationship during the course of their marriage.

In addition to the actual acts of infidelity, there is usually the presence of at least some secrecy, lying, betrayal, and/or emotional withdrawal. Fortunately, there are ways to address the consequences of infidelity in couples therapy and techniques used to reduce the chance of infidelity in the future.

How is it treated?

The first step in treating a couple experiencing infidelity is to complete a thorough assessment to understand both partners’ opinions about why the infidelity occurred, how they feel about the state of the relationship, and what they are wanting from the relationship in the future.

Treatment is then tailored to each couple, taking into account the issues surrounding the infidelity and each partner’s goals for the future. Treatment typically includes emotion-focused and behavioral interventions. Research shows that couples therapy is effective at improving relationship satisfaction, particularly for couples experiencing infidelity.

My approach

In working with couples, I’ve seen that there is a wide range of causes and reactions to infidelity. For some couples, healing from infidelity means addressing weaknesses in their relationship that were there from the start. For these couples, communication training and restoring emotional and physical intimacy are central to treatment. Other couples appear more blindsided by an act of infidelity and therapy includes identifying the reasons behind the act and rebuilding trust.

A good couples therapist will help both partners explore their role in the infidelity and the aftermath. Setting consistent boundaries and working through hurt and forgiveness are often central to moving forward. Finally, couples therapy can also help couples determine if the relationship is worth continuing and if each partner can commit in a way that builds trust and safety.

If you would like more information about couples therapy for infidelity or to schedule an appointment please call us at 612-470-4099 or email us at andrea@dendrinospsychology.com. Click here to contact me directly.